I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong.
I am strong, and I will overcome.
I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it. I am worth it.
I am worth it, and I will overcome.
I meditated for the first time after my mother died last year. I felt anxious all the time. My stomach was in knots, I couldn’t relax, and I was tightly-wound about every little thing.
Because of my back, I didn’t try the typical, Instagram-worthy Buddha pose, but bought an acupressure mat I would lie on with my feet on a poof at a 90-degree angle. My mind was far too preoccupied to try meditating just on my own. Besides, I had no idea how to start or what to do. All I’d heard is that mindfulness was good for you and that your mind was supposed to be empty. How the heck do I make my speeding brain quiet for the duration of the session?
I tried a couple of apps including Calm, but I still needed something to focus on to quiet my thoughts. Headspace seemed to really work. A delightful British voice would coach me through the basics of breathing and brushing away intruding thoughts as if they were clouds in a blue sky. It helped some.
I got out of the practice because I simply was too tired. Over the past year, the things I used to do like clockwork–physical therapy, Pilates, personal training, doctor appointments, making lunches the night before, etc–all became too much. As Bilbo Baggins said, I felt like “butter scraped over too much bread”. Meditation was one of the things that fell off my radar.
Since my husband had routine surgery early this month, he’s become interested in mindfulness and in improving his physical health. He voluntarily picked up a meditation and self-care magazine, and I thought I’d join him and renew my own interest. With my anxiety, I thought I could use something that would focus my tense body and so bought an amazonite mala to help focus any nervous energy.
Last night was my first night back to meditation. Holding onto the mala during the 15-minute Headspace session helped center me, and I found it useful to repeat a mantra to myself. Malas traditionally have 108 beads, and as you pass the beads one at a time through your middle finger and thumb, you repeat a mantra of your choice.
I’ve been experiencing a lot of self doubt with this recent Meniere’s issue and back pain. My work productivity and speed is down and my brain fog and fatigue is worse. Much of my self-worth has been tied to academic achievement, and when I had to stop my PhD program I felt like a failure. It didn’t matter that the huge impediment was my physical health and beyond my control. I’ve always measured myself against others and tried to be the best. I didn’t feel special as a child or in college except for my grades and academics; that was how I felt pride and was distinguished among my peers. I am nice but quiet. I’m not particularly funny or a performer, I’m not particularly pretty, and I don’t possess Cleopatra’s legendary charm. I was the last one chosen for anything athletic, and I’ve been overweight or obese my whole life. (Hence my current extreme frustration with my weight, the Prednisone, and my inability to exercise how I would like.) I didn’t really date until college, and that was just one guy. I never felt desirable except for my academics and education.
So lately I’ve forgotten that I’m worth it.
Repeating “I’m worth it” 108 times last night made me believe it more than I have in a while. I’m so full of negative self-talk that I often don’t do any positive thinking. Sure, my husband tells me nice things all the time and says how proud he is of me. But I find that I’m so far down that I often hear him, but don’t listen. Perhaps this will help me find the courage to keep working, trying to heal, and figuring out what is wrong and how to fix it.
I’ve become so depressed and have such feelings of being overwhelmed that I’ve forgotten that my brain needs a break, too. I hope that meditation can give me some sense of peace so that I can heal mentally as well as physically.
This week has been a rough one.
On Monday I had my chiropractic adjustment and physical therapy as normal. I noticed a little more aching than usual, but nothing that significant. Plus, he’d been very targeted in the treatment.
I noticed some shaking or twitching in my right leg on Tuesday, but this has happened before and I tried to ignore it with all the work I had. However, the pain going down my leg and the shaking got progressively worse as the day went on until I had a full-blown flare. This time I also experienced weakness in my leg which hasn’t ever happened before.
My husband had the presence of mind to call the chiropractor and PT. They think I had an “acute disc issue”. Basically, something got inflamed in the discs of my low back and irritated the nerve. Instead of going forward to help my back (bending over, stretching, tucking my tailbone), I need to accentuate the curve now to take pressure off the nerve (tummy time, cobra and down dog poses). I can’t run, go to Pilates or training, or do any other treatment (PT or acupuncture) for several weeks.
I’ve been sidelined, and my pain has never been more intense.
I’m also back on Prednisone which makes life hell. This time I’m experiencing horrible headaches and (TMI alert) body odor. The drug makes you sweat more, and even though I don’t notice more wet perspiration, I must be sweating more to produce such a stench.
So overall, I’ve been this pained, grumpy, depressed ball of sweatpants and hair ties just barely making it from one day to the next.
Exercise is how I vent a lot of this frustration. It makes me feel like my body isn’t entirely useless and abnormal. I can’t even do yoga right now–just “straight/vertical” things like walking or an easy go on the elliptical or swimming. (Swimming is a touchy subject for us; the gym we chose precisely because it has a pool has become family-first. They claimed at least one lane was open for lap swimmers at all times, and that isn’t the case. After work or Saturday late mornings are always for kids. It’s annoying, and we were sold a membership and amenities that simply aren’t there.). No bending, no twisting, no high-impact, no weight-bearing.
The other issue with this inflamed disc is that the nerve pain down the leg is eased by lying on my stomach. I’ve been practicing not being on my stomach for years, and suddenly I have to retrain my thinking and my body. Being on my stomach makes the back pain itself worse, but it helps the nerve and pressure on the disc. So, I’m doing what I can to help the acute and urgent issue but in doing so am creating a much higher typical everyday pain than I’m used to. On the pain scale my back is usually a 6-7. Bad days it’s a 10 with me crying and barely able to move. This past week the new baseline has been about an 8-8.5. It’s been incredibly difficult to live with, and I know I’ve been grumpy and short-tempered because of it. Other typical symptoms like brain fog and insomnia are worse, too, simply because my body is fighting the pain so hard.
I don’t mean to leave you with a “pity me” message. This is so new to me that I feel overwhelmed and like I’ve been implanted in someone else’s reality. I’ve been living with this particular pain and changed everything about my life–my furniture, cars, bed, movements, behaviors, schedule, habits, gestures, job–to treat one specific issue. Basically, the curve in my spine is too extreme and I need to work on tucking my pelvis, strengthening my glutes and lower abs, put my feet up at 90 degrees when there’s pain, apply heat at the area of pain, and even out my hips. Now everything is on its head. I have to keep a natural curve to my spine, lie on my back, not bend forward, not work on strengthening for the moment, apply ice only, and forget about my hips and resulting lower back pain. It’s an adjustment, and not one I find remotely as easy as even moving to another country or getting married!
For now my life as I knew it is on hold, and I’m doing what I can to remember all my physical therapist and chiropractor have told me. An MRI is on the horizon, and after that I will go to a spine specialist to see if there are any additional steps. I also have an appointment in September to see the pain clinic again. It’s my least favorite doctor*, to be honest, but perhaps he’ll have some ideas about pain management with this new complication.
Tomorrow I see the new rheumatologist (another department whose office could use some lessons in how to treat patients–and this is coming from someone who hasn’t even set foot in the practice yet!) who might have some insight into the Ménière’s disease which has been impacting life to such a degree these past several months. Perhaps he’ll also have insight into the joint pain and swelling I’ve struggled with, too. That isn’t the most pressing condition at the moment, of course, but it’s been yet another medical mystery doctors haven’t been able to figure out when it comes to me.
*(Note that the doctor, himself, is nice and personable. His nurses’ attitudes leave much to be desired, especially the one who treated me like someone grasping for painkillers and/or lying about my condition. For five years I resisted taking pain pills because I wanted to fix the actual issue and not cover it up. I finally relented when the pain got to be too much. She made me feel like a criminal when I had to go sign paperwork to get my prescription from them. Chronic pain sufferers, especially those who have records of not taking drugs and seeking alternative treatments, should not be made to feel even worse than they already do.)
I had plans for today. Silly, totally doable plans. I was going to go get my audiogram at the university, come home and work, eat healthy foods I’d pre-made, walk the dog, and go for a short run since the weather is lovely today.
I did not accomplish much on that totally doable list.
I got myself to the university for my hearing test, and thought I’d probably show a decline in hearing and fluid in my inner ear. I was correct. After I got home and began working, I got a phone call from the ENT’s nurse saying I needed to be on Prednisone for the fifth time in a handful of months.
That dislike of Prednisone and my utter frustration at everything going on with my health led to my depression kicking in. I couldn’t concentrate on my work. All I wanted was to sleep and hide in my bed. I wanted to browse through Instagram and Facebook and all the videos of cute animals until I went numb.
So I slept and would have slept for hours (instead of one) if I didn’t get hungry when my alarm went off–my attempt to jolt myself into getting back to work. I ate all the snacks food in the house: rice crackers, hummus, black bean chips, a banana with peanut butter, and half a pint of coconut milk ice cream. (Not all at once; this is what my “lunch” and “snack” looked like between 11:00am and 6:00pm.)
I hid under my weighted blanket while The Hunger Games played beside me on my laptop. I suppose I was trying to remind myself that with the political climate these days, I should probably go on that run to prepare for such a future scenario of games…
I went over and refreshed feeds in an attempt to cheer up.
I cuddled with my dog.
I felt sorry for myself and cried.
And I think I needed it. Sometimes, I think I need to not be so hard on myself and give myself permission to not struggle through depression. On these days, it’s okay to ignore the world in order to let the depression play out so I can function tomorrow.
I’m a perfectionist, and so any time I’m not performing to my expectations I berate and belittle myself. I guilt-trip myself and think “I should be working” or “I should be exercising” the whole day. When my depression gets bad, perhaps I just need to take a step back to let my mental health recover.
I had that realization and immediately felt a little lighter–enough so that I could go downstairs to grab my iPad and write. That’s something. It’s what I’m capable of today. And I need to believe my own words: it’s okay.
And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. –John Steinbeck
One of the biggest changes to our lives has been our embracing zero waste practices.
We have invested in produce bags, glass mason jars with labels, bamboo toilet paper, and composting our food waste thanks to our city’s new compost pick-up each week. We’re still learning, but we think much more about our impact on the environment.
Did you know with the trade war with China many recycled plastics are actually being burned instead?
Did you know your city or area may only be able to recycle certain plastics?
Did you know roughly 50% of food is thrown away in America?
I’ve always been fascinated by food. As a child and college student, it was something that tasted good or was forbidden in our house (I see you, Little Debbie) or was given as a reward for good behavior or grades. If I actually went with my parents to church without rebelling when I was little, then we’d stop for donuts after the service. I had a skewed view of food, and I still struggle with cravings when I’m depressed or bored. (The past 18 months have been really difficult in this way, especially since a HyVee moved into our neighborhood and stocks my favorite coconut milk ice cream…)
I’ve improved my relationship with it since I educated myself about nutrition while I was abroad and trying to lose weight. I understand what fast food and sugar can do to one’s body, and even my “healthy” choices of whole wheat pasta or fat free yogurt were no match for the carbs, sugars, and calories. I understand protein, carbs, and fats, and since I’ve become more active I’m very aware of the effects food can have on physical and mental health. My elimination diets have shed light on my intolerances and triggers, and I’ve been able to wean my husband off some of the empty-calorie foods loaded with sodium he was so fond of as a single man and student.
These days, one of the highlights of my week is choosing our produce box contents. As lovely as my experiences were with Abel & Cole and other similar services in the U.K., I wanted more. I wanted to do more.
Some blueberries from a recent produce box.
Enter Imperfect Produce. They give you a selection of goods to choose from each week depending on what is available. For example, several weeks ago I was able to get organic sweet potatoes, but now those aren’t a choice. However, this week I got not only my usual kale bunches but also a head of lettuce for my husband and some leaf spinach for our smoothies and curries. The quality overall has been great, and I’ve been impressed with the prices on short-coded goods like pasta sauce and kombucha. Plus, it saves me going on a large grocery shop on the weekends.
We’ve also become members of our co-op and use the bulk section whenever possible. Our rice, sugars, oats, beans/lentils, eggs, and peanut butter now comes from the bulk aisle, and we even get milk for my husband’s tea in a glass bottle we can return to the store. We are currently cycling through our cleaning and body products, but we plan on getting body wash and laundry detergent from the co-op, as well. We’ve already started using wool dryer balls instead of dryer sheets, and honestly they work just as well.
I’m struggling with snack food and beverages. There are a handful of prepared foods (sauces, bread, brown rice chips, etc) that come in packets, and I can’t easily make these at home. Some weeks I don’t have the energy to, anyway. We love La Croix and Bubly, but the cans and cardboard boxes do have to be disposed of in the recycle bin. I don’t trust everything to be recycled these days, so is this actually doing any good?
I will cross the beauty product bridge when I come to it. I don’t know what I will do when my serum or facial cleanser runs out. It’s been a long road to find products that work on my face to minimize breakouts, wrinkles, and extreme dryness.
We are far, far from perfect. But we’re trying. We help to educate others, and being aware of the devastating effects of plastics and other waste materials has made me more conscious of the effect of each purchase. I consider the packaging, the location of produce farms, and how much I really need or want something that’s not in reusable packaging. Every wrapper or tube we don’t throw away is helping our environment, and I don’t think we’ll stop anytime soon.
Here are some great resources and products:
Tare Market: A Minneapolis-based store which carries waste-free products and holds informative sessions and classes.
Gorgeously Green: 8 Simple Steps to an Earth-Friendly Life: A how-to book which goes over various ways and some tricks to become more green.
Imperfect Produce: A produce box shipped to your home. You can customize your box from a variety of organic products, produce, cold items, and pantry staples.
Grove Collaborative: A website which specializes in earth-friendly products. We use their reusable food storage “ziplocks”, wool dryer balls, stuck-on food pan pods, and some of their cleaning tools.
I hated running most of my life. In fact, a large part of me still hates it with a burning, fierce passion.
I played soccer as a child mostly for the social aspect and because all my friends and all the kids in the neighborhood were on teams. We were the Shooting Stars, and I played defense because 1) I had a powerful kick and 2) as I mentioned, I hated running. I was also overweight or obese most of my life, so a chubby kid running meant slow progress. I also had exercise-induced asthma, and just playing defense meant I had to take both inhalers. I can’t imagine what playing forward would have done.
Despite not really loving the game, I love my memories of it. I don’t remember much about my teammates other than our goalie, but I do remember my dad came to every game and used to be a fixture on my side of the field with our dogs on their leashes. Since my mother passed, I’ve thought a lot about my childhood and about how invested both my parents were. Every soccer game, every school play, help with every school project, and support every single day. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But running. Right.
When I was in the United Kingdom and looking to do something different for exercise, I decided to try Couch to 5K (or C25K). MyFitnessPal users had raved about the app, and I thought it sounded perfect for someone who hated running. Part of my distaste was because I couldn’t run. I was always picked last for kickball, and at field day I always had to run the longest distance which was for the slow kids. Maybe I’d progressed enough to be able to run. I knew I’d never be a speed demon, but it was a point of pride to just do it.
I got to the point where I could run a full 30 minutes in England, but then I hurt my back. After I moved back to the U.S., I casually picked it back up. There was no doubt I couldn’t exercise at the intensity I did before my back pain began, but I could take it easy.
This summer hasn’t been easy. Due to my Meniere’s Disease, I’ve had to work from home which is incredibly isolating. When I was working at the office, I began walking during my breaks. Sometimes, I could get 10,000 steps before I even left the office! So I began focusing on taking the dog for a walk at home. We developed a routine and a route. Then I decided that I wanted to spend even more time outside and pick up running again. I came to rely on that hour-long walk and subsequent 30-minute run (which is typically a 5-minute warm-up, 20-minute run, and 5-minute cool down; sometimes the run is a little longer). The running gave me a sense of control and pride. I could push through and make my body do this thing that I’d been unable to for so much of my life. I was slow, but even my FitBit recognized that I was running.
During one of the most difficult periods of my life where I’ve felt so out of control, running has helped me regain a little of that peace of mind. I can’t control my Meniere’s any more than I can with reduced salt and caffeine. I can’t control my joint pain other than taking my meds and avoiding certain foods. And I can’t control my back pain other than doing all the therapies I’m currently doing. Having a goal like completing a run helps me mentally (and obviously physically).
It’s been a long, long time since I posted. There have been some major life changes in the past year or two, and it’s been incredibly difficult.
The good news is that I’m working in the department I’ve wanted. I’m still working for the same company which I believe in, and I work among people I like and trust. My husband became an American citizen which is a huge relief for us. We breathe easier knowing that we don’t have to rely on visas to be together. We finally bought the truck we’ve been eyeing for a couple of years. We’ve seen some incredible concerts and been able to travel back to Colorado, to west Texas, to Oklahoma, and to the North Shore.
The bad news is that my mother passed away unexpectedly last year. We had a mixed and turbulent relationship, but I loved her dearly. I’m still processing the loss, and I often reflect on the last years of her life when we were together. I think much of me is unable to accept that she’s gone, though another part of me feels no change since she did not participate in activities with us and my father in the last years of her life. We are helping my father clear out the garage and house when we have time to travel, and seeing my childhood items she saved, her college papers, and newspaper clippings from her childhood drudges up all these complex feelings. (Who was this woman who looked so happy and saved these love letters? What was she like before the depression and illness took over? When did she stop being able to experience joy and goofiness?). My husband also lost his grandmother in Pakistan, and we lost one of our cats quite brutally to an unidentifiable health issue or disease. For a time I felt completely lost and paralyzed due to all these deaths.
My pain is still not under control, and my back is not better. I’ve continued to struggle and fight to get better, and it’s been depressing and lonely. I’ve been working from home due to several health issues which have popped up within the past six months (more on that later). Chronic pain and illness is isolating on its own, but this has caused me to become a hermit much more than I’d like. Even introverts need some social stimulation, and I haven’t gotten much since I’ve developed these new issues.
Currently, I treat my back using a combination of Pilates, personal training, physical therapy, chiropractic care, acupuncture, orthopedic massage, and pain relief patches. I still see my pain doctor, but when I finally asked for pain medication earlier this year I was treated quite poorly by that staff. I’m still considering whether I’ve gotten any benefit from the pain clinic; I tried the suggested hypnosis, and while it relaxed me during the session the commute alone raised my pain levels too much for it to be worth it. Our next steps are another MRI and a visit with the spine specialist at the university medical center.
Early this year I started getting dizzy and my ear felt painful and full. Two ENTs agreed that it was Meneire’s Disease caused by inflammation, and it probably is from an underlying auto-immune disorder (surprise, surprise). Each time they treat me with Prednisone, the fluid in my ear goes away, but as soon as I’ve completed the course it begins to come back. Prednisone should only be used two or three times a year, and within the first six months of 2019 I’ve been on it four times. In a few days I have to go back to the university for another audiogram, as my ear is back to feeling full and having a constant sensation like I got pool water in my ear while swimming. This fluid isn’t just annoying; it causes fatigue from the brain working overtime to keep me stable, vertigo, tinnitus, and the aforementioned pain and full feeling. On some occasions I’ve been unable to drive and so had to rely on Uber.
The elimination diet yielded some results. It was not the revelatory answer we’d hoped for, but I did discover that I am quite sensitive to gluten and dairy. Since that discovery, we’ve become an entirely gluten free household, and the only dairy we buy is milk in a reusable bottle from the co-op. I did try the AIP (Autoimmune Paleo or Protocol) and there really was no improvement over the more general elimination diet.
Which brings me to another major change. With the environment being attacked at every turn, we are doing our best to lower our volume of waste. Thanks to our city, we compost all our food scraps. We have started getting the bulk of our produce from Imperfect Produce each week, and we buy what we can from the bulk section of the co-op using our reusable glass jars.
Now that I have a game plan to go to the U specialist and my husband has had the routine surgery he’s put off, I am determined to adhere to a better diet, go to all my appointments each week, and fit in meditation each day. Our beloved truck was purchased mostly because I could not stand sitting in our cars any longer, we’ve put off children (perhaps indefinitely if my CFS/autoimmune/back/joint issues don’t get somewhat relieved), and I’m lucky if I speak to anyone other than my dog during the day. We have to have some improvement somewhere, and I need to find what helps.
If you’ve stuck with me this long, dear reader, I thank you. If you struggle with chronic pain or illness, I salute you. And if you are hurting due to loss or longing, I send you virtual hugs and positive thoughts.
Here is a song to help us keep going and which brightens my day: Away, Away by Ibeyi.
I typically go to a few stores each week. Costco for as much of the produce and basics that we can. Trader Joe’s for the other stuff we couldn’t find at Costco. Whole Foods for certain supplements and select, “weird” items (see below). I did my grocery shopping yesterday, and I went to Whole Foods first. I knew they had cassava flour and probably some turkey bacon I could have. Well, they did have all that. And it only took me two and a half hours.
When I got there, the first thing I see is a holiday display for ordering Thanksgiving dishes. Great. I ordered our organic turkey. (Part of AIP is being as organic as possible.) They also had samples of their pumpkin spice cider. Perfect. I needed cider for the n’oatmeal recipe. Problem #1: there is “natural flavoring”. After about 10 minutes and talking with two workers, I learned that the 365 brand uses “natural flavoring” for essential oils and juices. I’ll risk it.
I grab a few items of produce like bunched kale and some skirt steak that was insanely on sale and head into the spice aisle. Mace. Two of my recipes call for mace. WTF is mace? Problem #2: I can’t find it anywhere. I stand there for about 15 minutes looking at everything on the whole aisle. Fine. I’ll skip it. I’ll just grab gelatin while I’m here. Problem #3: The recommended brand isn’t carried here. They have the usual Knox gelatin, and the incredibly informative ingredients list only says “gelatin”. Whatever. I’ll take it.
I forgot spaghetti squash in the produce section, but I finally locate it on its own. It’s big. I go back to the freezer section to try my luck there, as cutting large veggies isn’t great for my hands. No spaghetti squash. So I return to the produce section. This sort of behavior continues for several of my ingredients, and so my trip takes forever. At last I decide to grab something to replace coffee. Heck, I needed a cup of coffee after looping around the store several times. Problem #4: The sales associates have no idea what chicory is (nor do I, really), and so all three of us search the coffee/tea aisle for a while. Guy 1 finally finds it, but it has barley in it, so it’s a no. Darn it!
When I leave the store, I have most of what I need, even the $17 cassava flour. I think that I’m well prepared for the week, but I don’t know if I can take this long to shop and cook each and every week. It’s exhausting! Thankfully, Trader Joe’s and Costco were much easier, as the Facebook groups I’ve been following alerted me to compliant coconut milk at TJ’s, and I already knew the produce to pick at Costco.
So what is AIP? The Autoimmune Protocol (or Autoimmune Paleo; this book is what I will use for my food list and reintroduction method) is a diet used to identify foods which may be causing inflammation, pain, and brain fog. By eliminating foods that are known to be potentially problematic and then reintroducing them slowly, the hope is that one can then eliminate those foods permanently and increase quality of life.
Why AIP?
I’ve been struggling with fatigue and brain fog since high school, and I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was still able to push through and do well in school and then complete a master’s degree, but when pain began in my back during my PhD I was forced to withdraw. My back problem is yet to be diagnosed (though an army of doctors in two countries gave me the wonderfully vague diagnoses of sacroiliitis and sciatica) and really treated, and so I’ve been trying to treat myself using a fleet of holistic remedies (Pilates, chiropractor, acupuncture, massage, yoga, personal training, diet, and essential oils). I’ve had some success, and I believe I would be much worse off going the route of traditional medicine or not doing as many of the holistic treatments as I do. It’s exhausting, and in a perfect world I would identify problematic foods, eliminate them, and be able to cut back my treatments (and have more of a life outside work and appointments).
I have short term memory problems–books I loved I can’t remember save the fact I adored them, dear friends tell me details of their lives which I am unable to recall later, and I struggle to remember times and dates of things which leads me to ask repeatedly and get confused. My back pain means that sitting and lying down are the most painful, so I have to try to walk as much as possible during the day and use a special chair, while sleeping is always incredibly difficult because I cannot get comfortable. Some days it’s a real struggle: I know walking and exercise will make me feel better, but I’m too tired to do much of anything. I’m out of spoons and I tank. Sometimes, this sharp energy tank means that my back flares up. Walking, bending over, even pulling a shirt on make me tear up and cry with pain.
In addition to the CFS and back pain, I also developed undiagnosed joint pain in my hands and feet. It varies in intensity from day to day, but the one thing I know is that if I’ve exerted myself too much the day before or my back pain is intense, the joint pain will be worse.
The Food:
I am more than a little bummed that I’m starting this diet right before Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you know me at all, you know that pumpkin and mint chocolate are my favorite flavors in the whole world, and that the way to my heart is some peppermint bark, pumpkin pie, or iced gingerbread cookies.
So what did I do to try to combat this intense “holy crap” feeling? I cooked and baked a lot of autumnal-flavored foods. I’m not a baker. It’s not that I can’t bake; I’m actually not bad, and I love my elimination diet cake. However, it just seems to take so much time and need so much clean-up. I’d much rather indulge outside the house!
Snacks:
Apple Cider Muffins (They are tasty, but next time I will be sure to roll them into balls, as dropping the dough into the muffin tins doesn’t make for the best consistency. This was also my first time using gelatin as an egg replacement.)
Banana Bread (Yes, this uses coconut sugar, which I know some people argue is not compliant. I believe using it this sparingly and when I’m not eating anything else save a tiny amount in tea is okay. Fight me.)
Pear Chai N’Oatmeal (I doubled the cinnamon and left the skins on the pears. The consistency is still like applesauce, so I think it’s okay.)
Kombucha
Apples, berries, and bananas
Breakfast:
Steak, turkey bacon, sweet potato, asparagus, and kale hash
Pumpkin spice coconut milk for use with dandelion chicory tea, a substitute for coffee (1 container coconut milk, 1 can pumpkin puree, cinnamon, honey, and clove in a blender). We’ll see how much I hate giving up coffee after tomorrow morning.
Lunch:
Baked chicken (onion and garlic powders, salt, oregano, and olive oil), sweet potatoes, and green beans with avocado
Dinner:
A variety of baked or sauteed meats (venison and fish this week) with a variety of marinades (Asian with coconut aminos, ginger, and garlic; olive oil with salt, onion powder, garlic powder, sage, and oregano)
Pumpkin coconut soup with asparagus and chicken (saute red onion in olive oil; add ginger and garlic; after 1 minute add 1 can coconut milk, 1 can pumpkin puree, and 5 cups broth; add vegetables and/or cooked meat of choice; add in sage and oregano or other spices of choice; simmer for 15 minutes). Based on the basics of this recipe.
Cauliflower “rice”, sweet potatoes, zucchini, broccoli, green beans, and mushrooms.
I won’t bore you with my trip to the grocery store right now, so please see the next post immediately published after this one. It was… different. It took me a long, long time, and even though I’ve been reading labels a lot since teaching myself about nutrition, I felt out of my depth and lost.
It’s all cooked and made now, so I’ll post an update about the eating!
Up & Atta Girl 